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I am Always

from New Traditions by Karter Schachner

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“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
-C.G. Jung

This piece revisits the "fallen angel prostitute" from How to Dream. He encounters a new client: a former deacon who is relentlessly studying scripture and praying in order to regain his favor with God. He was removed from priest candidacy for committing homosexual acts, and has taken up residence in the belfry of a church across the street from the shelter where the fallen angels lives. The two hook up and find a spiritual connection through their sexuality: the fallen angel is seeking to know the flesh, and the deacon is seeking to know the spirit, and through their sexual encounter these two realities collide and the knowledge of their divine reality is revealed to them.

The final spoken section returns to Moonflower, the two-spirit mystic from the beginning. She has been telling my personal story and the story of the fallen angel in tandem, interweaving fiction and reality to construct a mystical Truth. Now that her visions have been realized, her mind is husked to its barest core: a single seed. She is unfettered from "what she used to call love", and is left with only the world to embrace with all its imperfection and suffering.

lyrics

I sleep in a bed
That's not my own
Another ghost another body
Another day another dollar
I am always
I am always passing through
Name a price and name a pleasure
I'll make you sweat out every word you've ever known

I don't call this part my own
Cuz I believe this life is an illusion
I don't call this heart my own
You gotta conceive this night as an illusion
Ba da ba ba da ba da
A furnished body in an empty home

Reality comes in waves
And your eyes are an empty shoreline
It's gonna take more than words to find you
It's gonna take all of me away
I am always
I am always watching you
In the street in my reflection
It's gonna take all of you away
________

Well here I am
In a cold dark place
I try to remind myself why
And then I remember the dream
The one where my head was a bulb
And that bulb grew into words and
The words told me that I am a seed
Among many other seeds
And eventually I would grow into something bigger than myself
All I needed to grow
Was a cold dark place
And some moisture
Well here I am
On my knees in the darkest of places
And tears should be sufficient moisture don't you think

I'm so far from everything that I used to call love
I'm so far from everything that I used to call love

Yet I am closer to the earth than I have ever been

credits

from New Traditions, released April 4, 2015

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Karter Schachner image

Karter Schachner Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Avant-garde singer-songwriter from Pittsburgh, PA.

///Allow me to grab & lift you into mystical dreamscapes.
///Allow me to sonically deconstruct the binaries that separate us.
///Allow me to foster New Traditions of truth & empathy.

(cover photo by David McCandless) ... more

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